Matthew 21:22

And sometimes I wonder whether the choices I made in life would give me a better future. At times like this, I ponder about the sacrifices I would and may take. Would it give me a better future? Would it give me the sense of security I want? Would it give me happiness?

At times like this, I feel like breaking down. God knows why I chose to be a workaholic, but at times like this, I doubt myself. I doubt that my experiences I have now, would not benefit my future. I doubt my ability to be a better agent, to be a better colleague, to be a better person at work.

The amount of work piling on and on (if you compare to others, I think I'm entitled for the messiest table award.. lol), due dates being back to back without fail, paper works to be filed and sent to clients, rushing cases which needs to be done within a week or so. It makes me wonder whether people would appreciate my work.

It's funny how I enjoyed my work previously, but now no. I remember when I first shifted departments, I hated it so much. So much to the point that I hide in a corner- my safety bubble. Even up to now, I do hide in my bubble. I don't really agree with the people in my department, I don't really like to mix with them. I'm more of a loner, I guess; because I don't have the same wavelength as them. Whatever they think is right, I disagree with them; and whatever I think is right, they disagree with me.

Thankfully, God sent me an angel to my rescue. Though I'm still within the bubble, off and on I would come out of it because of her. She never fail to cheer me up, and help me when I need to. She has the same wavelength as me, and I'm really thankful for that.

I really hope whatever decision I make; be it work, studies, family or church; I may have the strength to persevere all the way. I know its hard, but if I give my 110% faith in God; I'm pretty sure He will not leave me in a lurch. Though I may at times would need some motivation. . . God conquered the world.. Do not be afraid.

"DO NOT BE AFRAID! WALK WITH FAITH!"